Cheesey
4 years ago

These are not texts. They are called "messages" or "posts".

Informed, you are. :-)

Originally Posted by: Zero2Cool 



Wow! I didn’t know that YODA texts......I mean POSTS on this site!!!🤪😂😂
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wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
4 years ago

These are not texts. They are called "messages" or "posts".

Informed, you are. :-)

Originally Posted by: Zero2Cool 



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KRK
  • KRK
  • Veteran Member
4 years ago


This guy does a great impersonation, irrespective of your politics, very funny.
In Luce tua Videmus Lucem KRK
KRK
  • KRK
  • Veteran Member
3 years ago

In Luce tua Videmus Lucem KRK
KRK
  • KRK
  • Veteran Member
3 years ago
Groucho 
In Luce tua Videmus Lucem KRK
warhawk
3 years ago
A guy talking to his friend:
"I'm getting a divorce. I'm sick and tired of this crap with my wife. She goes out every night bouncing from bar to bar 'till 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. I'm done with her".

Friend comes back with:
"What is she doing out there"

Guy gets mad again points at his chest and says:
"She's out looking for ME"

I thought it was funny but then again I'm from Alabama so maybe it takes a little redneck in you to appreciate this style of humor.

"The train is leaving the station."
Cheesey
3 years ago
Warhawk....I LOVED your post! Made me laugh! I may be from Wisconsin, but I’m a “redneck” too!🤪
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KRK
  • KRK
  • Veteran Member
3 years ago
RETIRED HUSBAND STORY

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:

Dear Mrs. Harris:

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.

Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

In Luce tua Videmus Lucem KRK
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
3 years ago
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

I invented a new word: Plagiarism!

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar
"Get out of here!" shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your type."

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
It’s two gross.

What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.

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Cheesey
3 years ago
Wayne....you are such a card!!!!

You should be dealt with!
🤪
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beast (16h) : You saw only 4,201 of my mocks? 🥺 I think that means you missed more than half of them 😢
dfosterf (19h) : Does anyone know what Lambeau field improvements got put on hold? My guess would be for the 2025 draft
Zero2Cool (22h) : It's like listen, you made 4,201 mocks, no shit.
Zero2Cool (22h) : Cuz during the draft "I had them mocked there!" as if it's amazing.
Zero2Cool (22h) : They're fun to do once in awhile. It's people who think they are "content" that annoy me.
dfosterf (22h) : Against tbd
dfosterf (22h) : Answer to your question is yes, it's a Thursday, will be the Chiefs aga
dfosterf (22h) : Luckily for all concerned, I don't post them. I did one, but that was like 25 mocks ago
Zero2Cool (22h) : NFL 2024 gonna start Sept 5th isn't it???
Zero2Cool (22h) : Ugh... kids these days!
dfosterf (22h) : I'm gonna go do some more mock draft hell instead 🤪
Zero2Cool (22h) : Did we do one of those prediction threads yet for 2024 season?
dfosterf (22h) : In my city, they are playing the nimby game, in order to keep some railroad tracks vs. 2 professional sports teams and a concert venue.
dfosterf (22h) : And/Or a city council, of which I haven't seen a good one in a very long time
dfosterf (23h) : That sounds like a Mayor, not a city.
buckeyepackfan (26-Mar) : Packers halt scheduled 80mil upgrade of stadium until lease agreement talks are restarted
Zero2Cool (26-Mar) : City of Green Bay puts Packers' Lambeau Field lease talks on hold
buckeyepackfan (26-Mar) : Packers 1 of 3 teams to vote no on new kickoff rule.
Zero2Cool (26-Mar) : Packers sign another Kicker
dfosterf (26-Mar) : Lengthy explanation at PFF if you click the link
dfosterf (26-Mar) : Kickoff rules officially changed.ngthy explan
Zero2Cool (26-Mar) : lol
Cheesey (26-Mar) : 2009? No thanks! One open heart surgery is enough!
dfosterf (26-Mar) : Good for you!
Zero2Cool (26-Mar) : Yes. That's the one.
dfosterf (26-Mar) : Is that "Lady Dugan" per chance?
dfosterf (26-Mar) : Crystal?
dfosterf (26-Mar) : Please refresh my memory
Zero2Cool (26-Mar) : Alan posts. Crystal back in my life. It's 2009 all over again! Lol
Mucky Tundra (26-Mar) : BAH GAWD! THAT'S CHEESEYS MUSIC!
Zero2Cool (25-Mar) : Gutekunst said early stages of Jordan Love contract being discussed.
Zero2Cool (25-Mar) : Shouldn't be penalized cuz official screwed up
Zero2Cool (25-Mar) : Yeah, challenge until you are incorrect twice.
Zero2Cool (25-Mar) : Fining them is the goal, per the people who made the rule anyway.
dfosterf (25-Mar) : Still waiting on the kickoff rule changes. Did hear yesterday that the touchback proposal will now be the 30 yard line, not the 35
dfosterf (25-Mar) : Probably speed of game issues with your proposal
dfosterf (25-Mar) : Hopefully the refs don't get in the habit of throwing flags on this
beast (25-Mar) : I think when it comes to Challenges should get two strikes, so unlimited challenges as long as they keep winning them, but 2 wrong then done
dfosterf (25-Mar) : Still subject to the fines etc
dfosterf (25-Mar) : Yes, I should have been more specific. Also, they are now saying it would be a 15 yard penalty. That makes more sense .
beast (25-Mar) : Simply fined in the week to follow
beast (25-Mar) : I agree with one NFL official, it'll probably be like some of the helmets hits, not really called by the refs on the field but simply fined
Zero2Cool (25-Mar) : Hip drop is not. Super confusing. Referees job is harder
Zero2Cool (25-Mar) : Swivel hip drop is banned
dfosterf (25-Mar) : The hip drop enforcement will be in the form of fines, etc. Not flags
dfosterf (25-Mar) : A major foul will be enforced on the offense if there are offsetting penalties in a change of possession situation
dfosterf (25-Mar) : Teams will receive a 3rd challenge if 1 was successful. Previously, it took 2
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