4PackGirl
11 years ago
you're being very philosophical which is fine.
i happen to be an emotional person so for me, those words just cut me like a knife.
but i can see how for others they could be helpful.
to each their own i guess.

how's papa formo doing?
Formo
11 years ago

you're being very philosophical which is fine.
i happen to be an emotional person so for me, those words just cut me like a knife.

Originally Posted by: 4PackGirl 



That's probably because someone's giving unsolicited advice. Which really is criticism. No wonder you hate them sayings.


but i can see how for others they could be helpful.
to each their own i guess.

how's papa formo doing?

Originally Posted by: 4PackGirl 



Haven't seen him in awhile..I know he just posted a CaringBridge update this morning, though. 😛
UserPostedImage
Thanks to TheViking88 for the sig!!
DakotaT
11 years ago

I could agree with your bolded statement.. but let me play Devil's advocate here.. Unless someone that you knew very, very well told you that, how could you even know what that person has been through? I understand where you are coming from, but the underlying basis of the statement is, 'I don't care how much truth you are saying because I'm being too judgmental to care'.

I guess my point is truth is truth, no matter the source.

Originally Posted by: Formo 



Even if it was somebody I knew very well, unless they had a child with a cancerous brain tumor, the best thing to say is I'm sorry and then STFU. I appreciated the people that we didn't even know that had been through a similar situation, tell us their ordeal - that was comforting.

I just think it is dipshit thing to say to somebody that has real life truama going on.


UserPostedImage
Pack93z
11 years ago

one that i absolutely despise because it is total bullshit...

God doesn't give us more than we can handle.

oh & here's another one...

Everything happens for a reason.


TOTAL HORSE SHIT!!!!!

Originally Posted by: 4PackGirl 



Jules.. I happen to think differently on this topic.. but I will tread lightly sense I have no idea the emotion ties. I will only share my story for reference and why I don't believe the sayings are false.

I can look back on my life, especially between 10 and 20, I can remember the highs and the lows for that decade.

I can tell you I wondered why; why me a ton, I can tell you those words were completely hollow for a couple of years. I would have uttered the same thing in disbelief. Wholeheartedly. It changed my relationship with God permanently.. but it didn't break it. Church that is severed beyond repair. Call it more of a mutual understanding with God today... it is complicated even for me, and I live it.

What it did do is temper my emotional swings with the big challenges in life.

Heck I have been in and out the hospital here for a couple of weeks now again.. had more surgeries than a human should have to endure, it is almost like a tiny ripple in daily life. Kids getting sick, people I care for dying, divorce, it all seems relatively minute in the grand scheme of things. Transitioning from able bodied to slowly knowing that part of my life is closing rapidly.

I am convinced that my life would be in shambles if I wasn't hardened early.

But I learned the meaning of those words to me much earlier in life.. when I got to college and that first year I really struggled with the realities of the world, I learned the meaning.

I was asked by a professor if I would talk with his nephew that has just lost a limb, to this day I still don't believe the mask I wore fooled so many, to help him overcome and adjust to life again. The counselor set it up and I met with him a couple of times and then just kind of talked here and there when he needed to. They thought I was helping him.. in reality it was him helping me just as much as anything.

Perspective.

From there, based apparently that I was willing, I talked a probably a half dozen other kids and even a school or two about adjusting to life with challenges. I don't know if I impacted a soul for sure, but if I did, then it was worth it.

To this day.. that is where I learned the answer to my why, and I have used that for the rest of my life.

But to Dakota's point, I don't say it to many people (kids and wife withstanding), because honestly, I have no idea the trials of another.
"The oranges are dry; the apples are mealy; and the papayas... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
wpr
  • wpr
  • Preferred Member
11 years ago
we all have obstacles some people look at the obstacle and get biter. Others look at the obstacle and make themselves in a better person because of it.

The illustration I like to use is 2 Revolutionary War generals.
Both of them were promised things by others of authority that never came to pass. Both were dumped on. Both were ridiculed or not given the credit due him.

Benedict Arnold looked at all those incidents and decided to get even with them by trying to help the British secure the fort at West Point,NY.
George Washington looked at the incidents that plagued him (and many will say he faced greater betrayal and hardships.) and resolved to overcome them.

It isn't so much as to whether or not God gives us more than we can bear, it is what do we do when we are faced with the challenge? I firmly believe if we turn to the Lord and seek His assistance He will provide it.
UserPostedImage
Cheesey
11 years ago
My feeling is this.....God sometimes ALLOWS things to happen to us, not necessarily "giving" them to us.
What i am trying to say is, the devil wants us to stumble, and will throw everything at us that he can.
"Bad things happen to good people"....and of course it seems that good things happen alot to bad people.
That one is hard for me to swallow sometimes. But accepting Jesus as your saviour doesn't mean life will suddenly become a bed of roses. (Boy....do i know that!)
It's hard for me to look at people that have screwed me over, and see them seemingly getting blessings for their evilness.
I have had people say to me "You witness to me about how good God is,how i should accept Him, yet i see you struggling every day physically and monitarily, why would i want THAT for myself???"
It makes it hard to make a good argument. Sometimes i can't blame them i guess.
UserPostedImage
4PackGirl
11 years ago
ok, i get what you're saying, shawn.

for you it was comforting. when people said those things to me when my dad got sick, i wanted to smack them across the face! to me it felt like they were saying 'suck it up, stiff upper lip, stay strong, & you cannot be weak'!! so, during his entire sickness, i did just that. as a result, i will forever feel the guilt that i didn't share more of my feelings with my dad about his sickness & his impending death. sure we said we loved each other, talked about old times, & all of that BUT i keep thinking how alone he must have felt. he didn't want to discuss it with me because i was being so damn strong, i think he didn't want to upset me. i feel horrible that i didn't reach out to him & let him talk about his feelings, his fears, & his worries.
Wade
  • Wade
  • Veteran Member
11 years ago
I believe that God had reasons for the shit that happened to Job. I believe that God has reasons for the shit parts of my life.

I also believe the particulars of God's reasons for what he does, good or bad, are beyond my ability to comprehend. And beyond anyone's ability to comprehend.

I have used the "God only gives us what we can handle" a couple times. But I've only used with someone I know very well, and only well into an extended conversation with that someone. I believe the sentiment -- indeed sometimes it has been the only sentiment keeping me from falling into my personal pit again. But I don't believe it is the kind of sentiment that one comes to believe when the sentiment is expressed starkly, as a platitude. I don't believe it is the kind of one liner that "helps" things, I believe it, but it does me absolutely no good to hear it from anyone other than myself.

Or, very occasionally, from someone who knows me very well and who has already talked to me a lot.

This is one kind of sentiment that only works if timed exquisitely (works in a positive way, that is; it works very easily in a negative way). Watch how the professionals choose when to say certain things. I've been seeing my mental health counselor, Kirsten, for almost a year and a half now. (Some of you might remember, I started seeing her when I was pretty much a basket case.) And there are things she is saying to me only now. I don't know why she waited -- I'm pretty clear she saw some of these things in me way back then -- but whether its because of her education, her experience, or simply her intuition, I'm sure she only said them when she believed I was ready for them.

All of us have situations where we want to comfort someone. To help them through the shit parts of their life. But very few of us, if any of us, find such a task easy. Does anyone like visiting a friend in the hospital, or going to a funeral? When we do, we need to say something, but we have no idea what to say.

In most such cases, I believe, a pure platitude is actually what is called for. The important thing, the thing we have provided to the sick or griving person we are visiting, is our showing enough care to visit. The words we use when we visit are mostly timekeepers and background noise. The better we can keep to platitudes, the less we distract the person visited from the comfort being provided by our being there.

Because in most such cases, what that person needs, and pretty much all we can provide, is being there.

But "God only gives us what we can handle" -- while it may or may not be a "truth" depending on your personal belief -- is not a platitude. It's an instruction, an instruction in how to "have faith." It's an instruction for how the person being spoken to should believe. And the last thing someone who is suffering needs in such situations is instruction.

Instruction does have a place. (It's part of why we need teachers, pastors, and mental health counselors.) But it's not here.

If you're in one of those situations where a platitude actually has a role to play, then you're also in a situation where instruction does not.

So I believe.
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2 (NKJV)
Formo
11 years ago

I believe that God had reasons for the shit that happened to Job.

Originally Posted by: Wade 



I've always hated that book. I know there's some valuable lessons I need to learn from it, but right now I just can't get past the pissing and moaning Job does. I honestly can't.
UserPostedImage
Thanks to TheViking88 for the sig!!
Zero2Cool
11 years ago
This needs to be bumped. I can't believe some adults are still saying "it is what it is". No way! You mean to say it isn't what it isn't? What a damn revelation there Mr. Holmes!


I think James Starks is the biggest culprit of this. Put some damn thought into your words!
UserPostedImage
Fan Shout
dfosterf (2h) : Kidding aside, I hope the best for him.
dfosterf (2h) : Went to a Titans board. One comment there. Not very long. I quote: "LOL" They don't sound overly upset about our aquisition.
beast (2h) : OT Dillard has been absolutely horrible... like OG Newman levels
dfosterf (3h) : Suit him up and have him stand in front of the big board as a draft day cautionary tale.
Zero2Cool (4h) : Packers sign T Andre Dillard.
Mucky Tundra (19h) : Adds most of the information this time of year comes from agents.
Mucky Tundra (19h) : @RealAlexBarth Bill Belichick says accurate draft information doesn't leak from teams until about 12 hours before the draft. Adds most of th
Mucky Tundra (19h) : I am very happy that for moment, Jordan Love seems like a normal human being
Zero2Cool (17-Apr) : Belichick * whatever
Zero2Cool (17-Apr) : "There's a lot of depth at Offensive Tackle and Wide Receiver." Bill Bellichick
Zero2Cool (17-Apr) : Thanks! I can't believe it's over haha
Martha Careful (16-Apr) : Congratulations
Zero2Cool (16-Apr) : Boom. Student Loan. $0.00. Only took about 20 years.
Zero2Cool (14-Apr) : Packers DT Kenny Clark: New defensive coordinator Jeff Hafley will 'allow us to be way more disruptive'
Zero2Cool (12-Apr) : Saints have agreed to terms on a contract with former Packers wide receiver Equanimeous St. Brown.
beast (12-Apr) : No, but of it's for legislation, then half of the country will find it evil, not good, whatever it says....
Mucky Tundra (12-Apr) : Draft is still 2 weeks away. UGH
dhazer (11-Apr) : Does anyone know of a good AI generator to create letters of Support for legislation?
Zero2Cool (11-Apr) : Gordon "Red" Batty retires as equipment manager
Zero2Cool (10-Apr) : Sounds like that's pretty certain now.
Zero2Cool (10-Apr) : Packers "at" Eagles in Brazil. Week One
dfosterf (10-Apr) : Va' Fazer As Malas Va' !
Zero2Cool (9-Apr) : Mark Murphy tipping us off?
Zero2Cool (9-Apr) : “We’re either the first- or second-most popular team in Brazil.”
Zero2Cool (9-Apr) : Christian Watson got married. Wife better be careful with those hamstrings!! 😂😂
dfosterf (9-Apr) : Those poor bastards
Zero2Cool (8-Apr) : Falcons have signed former Packers CB Kevin King, who has been out of football since 2021.
dfosterf (8-Apr) : Collectively, we need to spend more time in what we have, when analyzing ostendible needs and historical proclivities
dfosterf (8-Apr) : I say he is better than so many of these draft picks
dfosterf (8-Apr) : Question of the week for me: Has anyone besides me done any deep dive into the potential of Alex McGough, our 3rd string qb?
Zero2Cool (8-Apr) : Or in Tunsil's case, something gets released day of draft or day before lol
Zero2Cool (8-Apr) : Seems every year someone does something pre-draft.
dfosterf (8-Apr) : Falling down drunk. The draft board
dfosterf (8-Apr) : Allright! Potential character guy/f#×k up pickup in D'Vondre Sweat!
Zero2Cool (7-Apr) : Go Badgers!!!
Martha Careful (6-Apr) : Go Boilermakers!!!
Martha Careful (5-Apr) : Diggs has not stepped up in the playoffs and has a high cost
beast (5-Apr) : Probably not going to let Diggs walk away unless he's horrible... but according to reports he also might not be as good as he used to be.
beast (5-Apr) : The 25th pick in the draft has been an offensive player since 2017, 2 TE, 2 WR, 1 RB, 1 OC
Mucky Tundra (5-Apr) : Odd, why give up a 2025 2nd Rounder for him if you're just gonna let him walk?
Zero2Cool (4-Apr) : Texans to let Diggs be free agent in '25
buckeyepackfan (4-Apr) : 49r's aign RB Patrick Taylor.
Martha Careful (4-Apr) : Reversion to the mean would indicate we will keep it
Zero2Cool (4-Apr) : It's also been utilized in a trade in 14 of the past 20 years
Zero2Cool (4-Apr) : The 25th pick in the draft hasn't been made by it's original holder since 2016.
Mucky Tundra (4-Apr) : Gotta imagine that Green Bay vs Houston will be a primetime game this upcoming season
Zero2Cool (3-Apr) : No. Kill QB. No worries. 😁
Mucky Tundra (3-Apr) : Diggs, Collins, Dell and Schultz is gonna be tough to cover
Zero2Cool (3-Apr) : Stefon Diggs' trade will not be processed as a post-June 1 designation, so that is just over $31 million in dead cap this year.
Zero2Cool (3-Apr) : Bills trading WR Stefon Diggs to the Texans in exchange for a 2025 2nd-round pick. (via @rapsheet)
Please sign in to use Fan Shout
2023 Packers Schedule
Sunday, Sep 10 @ 3:25 PM
Bears
Sunday, Sep 17 @ 12:00 PM
Falcons
Sunday, Sep 24 @ 12:00 PM
SAINTS
Thursday, Sep 28 @ 7:15 PM
LIONS
Monday, Oct 9 @ 7:15 PM
Raiders
Sunday, Oct 22 @ 3:25 PM
Broncos
Sunday, Oct 29 @ 12:00 PM
VIKINGS
Sunday, Nov 5 @ 12:00 PM
RAMS
Sunday, Nov 12 @ 12:00 PM
Steelers
Sunday, Nov 19 @ 12:00 PM
CHARGERS
Thursday, Nov 23 @ 11:30 AM
Lions
Sunday, Dec 3 @ 7:20 PM
CHIEFS
Monday, Dec 11 @ 7:15 PM
Giants
Sunday, Dec 17 @ 12:00 PM
BUCCANEERS
Sunday, Dec 24 @ 12:00 PM
Panthers
Sunday, Dec 31 @ 7:20 PM
Vikings
Sunday, Jan 7 @ 3:25 PM
BEARS
Sunday, Jan 14 @ 3:30 PM
Cowboys
Saturday, Jan 20 @ 7:15 PM
49ers
Recent Topics
7m / Random Babble / Zero2Cool

4h / Green Bay Packers Talk / Mucky Tundra

6h / Green Bay Packers Talk / Zero2Cool

17h / Random Babble / Mucky Tundra

19h / Green Bay Packers Talk / Mucky Tundra

17-Apr / Green Bay Packers Talk / Mucky Tundra

17-Apr / Green Bay Packers Talk / Mucky Tundra

17-Apr / Green Bay Packers Talk / beast

17-Apr / Green Bay Packers Talk / beast

17-Apr / Green Bay Packers Talk / beast

16-Apr / Random Babble / Martha Careful

15-Apr / Green Bay Packers Talk / dfosterf

12-Apr / Random Babble / Nonstopdrivel

12-Apr / Green Bay Packers Talk / Martha Careful

11-Apr / Green Bay Packers Talk / Zero2Cool

Copyright © 2006 - 2024 PackersHome.com™. All Rights Reserved.