SINCITYCHEEZE
11 years ago


Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Yuma ,

Arizona . They turn a corner and see a sign that says,

"Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents." They look at each other

and then go in, thinking, This is too good to be true.



The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the

room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What 'll it

be, gentlemen?"



There 's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a

martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced

martinis - shaken, not stirred - and says, "That 'll be 10

cents each, please."



The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at

each other. They can 't believe their good luck. They pay the

40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the

bartender again saying, "That 's 40 cents, please." They pay

the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.

They 've each had two martinis and haven 't even spent a

dollar yet.



Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve

martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"



"I 'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says,

"and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the

Lottery jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this

place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer - it 's

all the same."



"Wow! That 's some story!" one of the men says.



As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can 't help

noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don 't

have any drinks in front of them and haven 't ordered

anything the whole time they 've been there.



Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men

asks the bartender, "What 's with them?"


The bartender says, "They 're retirees from Wisconsin,

They 're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price.

Wisconsin Born, Packer Bred
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Formo
11 years ago
GUComics.com
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dfosterf
11 years ago

Pulled Over for Speeding














A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding...

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI.

Officer: Can I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: Oh, it's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: Yeah. Oh, but come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove compartment when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: You have a gun in there?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the lady who owns the car. She's in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the trunk?!?

The officer tells the man to hold on, backs off carefully, and calls for backup. Quickly, the car is surrounded by police, and the captain approaches the driver to handle the situation.

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure, Officer.

Captain: Hmm, this license is just fine. Whose car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open the glove compartment, please, so I can see if there's a gun in there?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

He opens it, and sure enough, there's no gun.

Captain: Would you mind if we opened the trunk? I was told you said there's a body in there.

Driver: No problem.

The trunk is opened, nothing in there but a spare tire.

Captain: The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove compartment, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the kid told you I was speeding, too!

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