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Zero2Cool
2020-11-28T00:47:55Z
One of the better commencement speeches I've read.

Mary Schmich wrote:

Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt. Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.


Source: https://www.chicagotribu...creen-column-column.html 



This speech inspired a song.

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Mucky Tundra (5h) : Cheesey, you're slurping that green kool aid down! you can't see the faults in this team like i can!
Cheesey (5h) : Beetle Juice! Beetle Juice! Beetle Jui......🤪
Mucky Tundra (6h) : shhh you'll summon a Balrog if you keep saying his name
Mucky Tundra (6h) : I remember waaaaaaaaay back when the Chargers drafted him and LT. Thought they were going to take that team to a super bowl or two
Zero2Cool (6h) : I think it's Taysom Hill's team, not Wintson's.
Mucky Tundra (6h) : just saw the clip of Brees+Winston on the sideline: "It's your team"
Zero2Cool (6h) : @LarryHolder Drew Brees and his family have been on the field for quite some time now. The kids are playing like kids would. Brees is standing on the sideline taking it all in.
Mucky Tundra (6h) : hey look Zero, I'm giving credit to another teams D+coach :)
Mucky Tundra (6h) : looks like it. according to PFF, he played that game and his next game was at home vs Jax
Mucky Tundra (6h) : *real good Ds
Zero2Cool (6h) : That was the game David B got injured, right?
Mucky Tundra (6h) : Like I said, Bowles is a good DC. Had some real Ds out in Arizona when he was the DC there
Mucky Tundra (6h) : it'll be a good matchup.
Mucky Tundra (6h) : yeah but that was sorta late in the game wasn't it? I think both teams were just running out the clock at that point
Zero2Cool (6h) : AJ Dillon had a 20 yard run vs Bucs
Mucky Tundra (6h) : i got a feeling that'll get put to the test this sunday
Zero2Cool (6h) : Packers were up 10-0 in first quarter. Then it unraveled. WTF.
Zero2Cool (6h) : Buccaneers don't allow running though.
Mucky Tundra (6h) : Looking at the remaining teams in the playoffs, i think its safe to say we have the best run game
Mucky Tundra (6h) : i also think Lazard was out and MVS was in the middle of a cold streak; now lazard is getting back to where he was pre injury and MVS has been more consistent on short and intermediate stuff
Cheesey (6h) : Zero, you won’t find it.....Bob Hope died YEARS ago!🤪
Mucky Tundra (6h) : well for starters i think our run game is a better spot now than it was
Zero2Cool (6h) : I almost wanna rewatch the Week 6 game to see if I can find hope.
Cheesey (6h) : The turnovers killed NO. It’s not like Tampa was that great.
Mucky Tundra (6h) : One positive thing is that Arians seems to be one of those, "This is how we play and we're not changing it" with his offense which favors downfield stuff which Pettine doesn't want to allow
Mucky Tundra (6h) : it's odd of all the teams and places Rodgers has struggled at its Tampa since they really haven't been a great team since he came in the league
Zero2Cool (6h) : Rodgers seems to flounder in Tampa Bay, so hopefully Lambeau Field tilts things in favor for Packers.
Zero2Cool (6h) : I'm hoping Lambeau Field makes things WTF my TV went off.
packerfanoutwest (6h) : I want some of that
Zero2Cool (6h) : @AlbertBreer The Chargers are hiring Rams defensive coordinator Brandon Staley as their new head coach, sources confirmed (NFLN first). Staley's impressed in his interviews.
Mucky Tundra (6h) : yep. it was clear they saw some tendencies on film and exploited them in the last game
Zero2Cool (6h) : That's not a good thing. Buccaneers destroyed the Packers. Rodgers even said they figured them out. Not good.
Mucky Tundra (6h) : hm opening line at -4 GB
Mucky Tundra (7h) : let's hope so!
packerfanoutwest (7h) : Mucky,packers by 10 plus against the Bucs
Mucky Tundra (7h) : gonna be a tough game. Bowles is no slouch as a DC
Zero2Cool (7h) : I went for a walk and it was 13 tie. Now it's 30-20. Dayum.
Mucky Tundra (7h) : I hope they run up the gut more this time around. Last game they kept running to the outside and getting shut down by Tampas speedy LBs
packerfanoutwest (7h) : cook has been sad tonite
KRK (7h) : Packers need to expect that same type of defense. Match up man to man with two safeties over. We have to beat them at the line or it’s going to be a very long night
packerfanoutwest (7h) : home
packerfanoutwest (7h) : go ome Brees
Mucky Tundra (7h) : I wonder if New Orleans makes a play for Watson in the offseason?
hardrocker950 (7h) : Just about seals it
TheKanataThrilla (7h) : Need to hold them to a FG
Mucky Tundra (7h) : oh boy, that may seal the game
TheKanataThrilla (7h) : I remember my Devin White draft crush.
packerfanoutwest (7h) : haha Breees picked
Mucky Tundra (7h) : oh yeah, like a couple years ago on a hail mary vs Minnesota, Brees had to have a running start of 5 yards to get it downfield
hardrocker950 (7h) : Speaking of
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