I used to not follow the Lions as they didn't matter.
Their own media just don't care so reading coverage on the Lions often provides comedy. Take this article in the Detroit Free Press. http://www.freep.com/art.../310210005/1049/SPORTS01
I have to ask, since Im curious. ... Do you have to write new material on the Lions each season, or can you use previous columns from year to year like a teachers lesson plans? In other words, just change the dates, maybe two or three names, and rerun them?
Reader Scott Dewicki, Commerce Township
HOUSTON Well, the Dan Orlovsky (Jon Kitna, Joey Harrington, Scott Mitchell) Era is not going very well.I knew the Lions were in trouble when the Texans won the coin toss and elected to score.
Houstons early star was running back Steve Slaton (Adrian Peterson, your next-door neighbor), who spearheaded a quick touchdown drive. This was soon followed by a touchdown run by Ahman Green (Steve Slaton, your next-door neighbor on the other side).
Meanwhile, Orlovsky threw his first pass to a fan sitting in the second row (fan sitting in the third row). This surely led many fans to call for backup Drew Stanton (Dan Orlovsky).
The Texans and Lions basically run the same offense, except the Texans added this play where they have one of their receivers go to a spot where the nearest Lion is 15 yards away. Its real cutting-edge stuff, and the Lions never figured it out, even though the Texans kept doing it again and again.
You want numbers? Weve got numbers. The Texans tied their record for most first downs in a game before the end of the third quarter. By my calculations, he Lions were outgained, 274-79, in the first half.
I say by my calculations because I am not counting Orlovskys meaningless 58-yard pass to Calvin Johnson as time expired. Im sure coach Rod Marinelli (Steve Mariucci, Marty Mornhinweg) will count it. After all, they were playing the snap (you are your tape, pad level).
The Lions were down three touchdowns before they threw a pass to their only offensive weapon, Calvin Johnson (Roy Williams, Herman Moore). Finally, they had to give Johnson the ball on a reverse; the poor guy was tackled before he could run off the field to the nearest airport.
Marinelli recently asked reporters if they know what it means to respect the game (listen to a lame-duck coach, pad level).
Is this what it means to respect the game? Falling behind 21-0 (21-0, 21-3, 31-0) in the first half? What would be a lack of respect? Drinking beer in the huddle?
The Lions mounted a brief comeback, sort of they cut the margin to 21-10 in the third quarter. But in the end Marinelli must have been even more frustrated than he was after his road loss in Minnesota (San Francisco, Atlanta, Green Bay, San Diego, Minnesota, Arizona, Washington, Philadelphia, Green Bay, New England, Arizona, New York, Minnesota, St. Louis, Chicago, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Dallas, Minnesota, Tampa Bay, Chicago).
In the first half, one of the Lions leading rushers was their quarterback, Orlovsky. Its not a good sign when Dan Orlovsky is your leading rusher. Also, its not a good sign when Dan Orlovsky is your quarterback.
A week ago, in his first career start, Orlovsky ran out of the back of the end zone for a safety. Apparently, Orlovsky had no idea where he was. I can only hope, for his sake, that his mind wandered off to its special place again Sunday.
It is probably too early to pass judgment on Orlovsky, but it is not too early to be skeptical. He appears to have happy feet sometimes I cant tell if he is dropping back to pass or auditioning for the lead in The Gregory Hines Story. On one play Sunday, Orlovsky pitter-pattered while handing off on a draw out of the shotgun.
Of course, Orlovsky was not the only guy responsible for this debacle. Defensive lineman Shaun Cody (Shaun Rogers) was whistled for encroachment, which comes from the Greek word for big dude falling down.
Now the Lions are 0-6. They have lost 13 of their past 14 games, and they are 3-13 since receiver Mike Furrey told the media they could kiss his ass (head).
So no, this latest loss should not have surprised anybody. After all, they are the Lions (the Lions, the Lions, the Lions).
How difficult can being a sports journalist covering the Lions??