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Offline Zero2Cool  
#1 Posted : Thursday, September 27, 2012 6:24:39 AM(UTC)
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One of the girls at work emailed this to me...

Quote:
The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait!
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on
scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I
get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off
this building.'

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, 'Burritos again! If I get
burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.'
The blonde opened his lunch and said, 'Bologna again! If I get a bologna
sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too..'

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage,
and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as
well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how
really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to
him again!'

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or
enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much.'

(Oh this is GOOD!!)
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,
'Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch.'
Pray for our troops!
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Offline zombieslayer  
#2 Posted : Thursday, September 27, 2012 8:57:11 AM(UTC)
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WTH?

This is supposed to be a Polish joke. So, did the Polish get offended and start a campaign to change Polish jokes to blonde jokes?
My man Donald Driver
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(thanks to Pack93z for the pic)

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Offline gbguy20  
#3 Posted : Thursday, September 27, 2012 12:04:55 PM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: zombieslayer Go to Quoted Post
WTH?

This is supposed to be a Polish joke. So, did the Polish get offended and start a campaign to change Polish jokes to blonde jokes?


I was wondering why it was 2 nationalities and then a hair color

it all makes sense now
call me Dan
Offline wpr  
#4 Posted : Thursday, September 27, 2012 12:52:09 PM(UTC)
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yeah I remember it well. But there it is.
"You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em." Chesty Puller



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Offline wpr  
#5 Posted : Thursday, September 27, 2012 12:53:32 PM(UTC)
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here is a blond guy joke-

Quote:
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.

Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closetfloor.

You rotten bastard, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!
"You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em." Chesty Puller



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Offline wpr  
#6 Posted : Thursday, September 27, 2012 12:55:04 PM(UTC)
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Blond guy joke- CheeseyBig Grin
"You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em." Chesty Puller



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Offline Cheesey  
#7 Posted : Thursday, September 27, 2012 12:56:06 PM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: zombieslayer Go to Quoted Post
WTH?

This is supposed to be a Polish joke. So, did the Polish get offended and start a campaign to change Polish jokes to blonde jokes?


I'm blonde AND Polish......double whammy!Big Grin

When i was in college, i had a professor that had just gone through a bad divorce. He was picking on all the blonde girls in class (and there were quite a few, i might add) when i suddenly stood up, look meanly at him, and said "That's not true sir! Not all blondes are stupid! (several second pause) Just the FEMALE ones!!!"
With that, i got smacked in the back of the head by the blonde girl behind me!Big Grin
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wpr on 9/27/2012(UTC)
Offline wpr  
#8 Posted : Thursday, September 27, 2012 12:57:16 PM(UTC)
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I like this one better.


Quote:
The Football Game

A blonde guy goes to a football game and finds his place in the bleachers. After a while, someone far behind him yells, "Hey, George."

The blonde gets up and scans the crowd behind him. Not seeing anyone he recognizes, he sits down.

Some time later, someone yells again, "Hey, George."

The blonde gets up again and looks around. Seeing no one he knows, he sits down.

A third time someone yells, "Hey, George."

Finally, the blonde gets up, turns around and yells back, "Knock it off! My name's not George."
"You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em." Chesty Puller



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Offline wpr  
#9 Posted : Thursday, September 27, 2012 12:59:04 PM(UTC)
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Cheesey was really dumb. In school, he sat next to a really smart student and the teacher knew he was cheating on tests, but she could never prove it, until one day. As she corrected the tests, the teacher saw that the really smart kid had answered a question, "I don't know." The dumb blonde had answered that question. "I don't either."
"You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em." Chesty Puller



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zombieslayer on 9/27/2012(UTC)
Offline Cheesey  
#10 Posted : Thursday, September 27, 2012 1:06:56 PM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: wpr Go to Quoted Post
Cheesey was really dumb. In school, he sat next to a really smart student and the teacher knew he was cheating on tests, but she could never prove it, until one day. As she corrected the tests, the teacher saw that the really smart kid had answered a question, "I don't know." The dumb blonde had answered that question. "I don't either."


Come on Wayne.....you weren't THAT smart obviously.......you didn't know the correct answer either!Big Grin
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wpr on 9/27/2012(UTC)
Offline wpr  
#11 Posted : Thursday, September 27, 2012 2:29:08 PM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: Cheesey Go to Quoted Post
Come on Wayne.....you weren't THAT smart obviously.......you didn't know the correct answer either!Big Grin


Funny REAL story about cheating on a test.

For some reason I owed a guy (brown hair not blond) a favor when we were in HS. He said what he wanted from me was to look at my paper during our next Biology test. I was a little reluctant but he sat in the row behind me so I knew I didn't have a lot of risk unless he squealed and said that I agreed to let him look at my answers.

So I zipped through page 1 and then pushed it to my right a bit and acted like I was contemplating. (Probably looked like I was constipated instead.) After 3-4 minutes I went on to page 2 and did the same thing for the whole exam.

A week later we got our papers back. His last name begins with an "A" so he got his test long before I did. I asked him what he got. He said a "D". My heart sank. I just knew the teacher saw us cheating and gave us poor marks. Why we didn't get "F's" I couldn't figure out. The 2 minutes or so it took him to get to my paper were agony. I was going to have to tell my parents I helped someone cheat. I was going to be in so much trouble. I was really sweating.

Finally I got my paper and I had a "B"!!! I was never so shocked in my life. I just stared at the paper. Normally I would get a little upset and wonder if I had actually applied myself would I have gotten an "A"? I was thrilled with this "B".

My friend asked me what I got so I showed him.

After a minute or so my mind finally cleared enough to ask him what he had done to get a "D".

He explained that he didn't look at my paper for every answer. He only looked at it when he thought he needed a little help. And then he changed some of the answers that he got from me so it wouldn't look like we were cheating. I was dumbfounded. I looked at him, hit him and said, "You big dummy. This was a multiple choice test. All the answers are 'A,B,C and D'. You can't be accused of cheating for putting the same letter down as I have unless every single one was the same."

As we were walking down the hall I looked back at him and said, "You realize that if you got a "D" the only answers you got right were the ones that you got from me that you didn't change."

His now wife then girlfriend knew of this whole thing before hand. She was really upset that we were going to cheat on the test and she was happy that are grades were so different. She laughed at him and told him that God had punished him for making me cheat. I just smiled.

We got together this past October at their place in TN. She is still talking about this test. I tell you he is one of the kindest men I know. Dropped out of school. Joined the Army. Got his GED. After his tour was over got a good job and poured himself into his family and the youth in the community. He had a terrible childhood so he really tried to help other kids with their problems. Because I am so proud of what he has become I don't mind ribbing him a little about HS.

I tell him he has come a very long way in life.
"You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em." Chesty Puller



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Offline Cheesey  
#12 Posted : Monday, October 1, 2012 12:04:13 PM(UTC)
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WPR said "Got his GED."

Unlike Wayne, who can't even SPELL "GED!"Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin
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Offline wpr  
#13 Posted : Monday, October 1, 2012 12:11:09 PM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: Cheesey Go to Quoted Post
WPR said "Got his GED."

Unlike Wayne, who can't even SPELL "GED!"Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin


you know, I misspell all the time.

I suppose you can say about me what "Hollywood" Henderson said about Terry Bradshaw: "He couldn't spell 'Cat' if you spotted him the 'c' and the 'a'."
Then again, isn't Bradshaw a blond? Or do you have to have at least 50% of your head covered with hair to qualify?
"You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em." Chesty Puller



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Offline Cheesey  
#14 Posted : Monday, October 1, 2012 12:13:24 PM(UTC)
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LOL!
Good reply!Big Grin
I actually like Bradshaw.....he's FUNNY!

Maybe losing all the hair in the middle let the sun "bake" his brain a little too much!Big Grin
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Offline wpr  
#15 Posted : Monday, October 1, 2012 12:17:13 PM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: Cheesey Go to Quoted Post
LOL!
Good reply!Big Grin
I actually like Bradshaw.....he's FUNNY!

Maybe losing all the hair in the middle let the sun "bake" his brain a little too much!Big Grin


Blonds of a feather flock together.
"You don't hurt 'em if you don't hit 'em." Chesty Puller



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