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Offline Nonstopdrivel  
#31 Posted : Sunday, December 14, 2008 9:03:56 PM(UTC)
Nonstopdrivel

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Originally Posted by: " Go to Quoted Post
i would say the question to ask would be... could you please write down your size honey - i need it to get you the perfect gift this year. :D


Of course you have to write down which stores those sizes apply to, since my wife's size varies drastically by store, anywhere from 4 to 13! I think she's a size 6 at Express, where we do most of our shopping now.
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Offline Formo  
#32 Posted : Sunday, December 14, 2008 10:04:02 PM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: " Go to Quoted Post
My wife will bring up stuff that I don't have a clue about, remember, or even know if it actually happened or was said. So, I have come up with a sure fire thing that calms all situations before they even start.

Every 40 minutes or so I blurt out "I'm really sorry, honey." This confuses the hell out of her and she goes nuts trying to figure out what in the world I'm sorry for. Then she'll ask, "what did YOU do?" And I'll reply, "oh you know what!"
Then she'll say, "No, I don't know what?"
Me: "well, if you can't remember the forget it."

This drives her nuts, then she realizes she's just been hit with reverse physchology, and only women are suppossed to fight battles like that.
I get a slap upside the head and about 40 minutes later....."Im sorry.."


I can't even tell you how many times I've done that.. just to get my face ripped off because, "YOU SAY SORRY TOO MUCH... SHUT UP!!!!"

I lose even playing THAT game. =/
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Offline Formo  
#33 Posted : Sunday, December 14, 2008 10:04:58 PM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: " Go to Quoted Post
Originally Posted by: " Go to Quoted Post
Originally Posted by: " Go to Quoted Post
You guys and gals know me by now.......I'll do just about anything to try to get a laugh. My wife doesn't care too much for my sense of humor though.........right after we got married, we were taking a walk down the street. It was a Saturday, and I heard a wedding party driving by with their horns beeping.......I stopped, put my hand over my heart, and faked a few tears. She asked "What are you doing???" I said "Another good man bites the dust!"..................she wasn't amused.
I also liked to introduce her as "This is my first wife"............she got mad. I said "Well you ARE, arn't you???" She still wasn't amused.


lol

I'm notorious for getting the eye roll and the head shake from my wife with my sense of humor, so I know where you are coming from, Sir Cheesmeister. I'd give a few examples, but, honestly, I can't think of any right now.

The joys of having a short term memory. lol

Well then.....just ask your wife!
I'm SURE she hasn't forgotten ANY of the things you said!!!LOL! :thumbleft:


I thought about asking her.. but then, we are on REALLY good terms right now and I don't want to mess that up by bringin' up some stupid crap I've said.. lol
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Offline Nonstopdrivel  
#34 Posted : Sunday, December 14, 2008 10:11:11 PM(UTC)
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I just tell my wife to "shut the fuck up." Seems to work most of the time. In fact, more often than not, she jumps my bones after I say that.

Reminds me of an article I read in the woman's-advice-to-men column of Men's Health during my first tour in Iraq. The author related a story about a friend of hers, who, it seems, had for some trivial reason gotten pissed off by the guy she had just started dating. So (apparently just to see what kind of stuff he was made off) she started bitching him out, and the new boyfriend, distraught, started apologizing profusely. But no matter what he said, she kept on bitching, so he kept asking for forgiveness, to no avail, until finally he lost his patience, and he yelled, "Would you kindly shut the fuck up!"

Her jaw dropped, and then she launched herself into his arms and dragged him into bed. According to the author, it's been several years, and they've been screwing like rabbits ever since.

The moral of the story: Women don't LIKE men who are weak enough to take their shit all the time. It's a lesson I've never forgotten.
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Offline Heatherthepackgirl  
#35 Posted : Monday, December 15, 2008 12:07:03 AM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: " Go to Quoted Post
Originally Posted by: " Go to Quoted Post
Originally Posted by: " Go to Quoted Post
Originally Posted by: " Go to Quoted Post
Originally Posted by: " Go to Quoted Post
Originally Posted by: " Go to Quoted Post
You guys and gals know me by now.......I'll do just about anything to try to get a laugh. My wife doesn't care too much for my sense of humor though.........right after we got married, we were taking a walk down the street. It was a Saturday, and I heard a wedding party driving by with their horns beeping.......I stopped, put my hand over my heart, and faked a few tears. She asked "What are you doing???" I said "Another good man bites the dust!"..................she wasn't amused.
I also liked to introduce her as "This is my first wife"............she got mad. I said "Well you ARE, arn't you???" She still wasn't amused.


lol

I'm notorious for getting the eye roll and the head shake from my wife with my sense of humor, so I know where you are coming from, Sir Cheesmeister. I'd give a few examples, but, honestly, I can't think of any right now.

The joys of having a short term memory. lol

Well then.....just ask your wife!
I'm SURE she hasn't forgotten ANY of the things you said!!!LOL! :thumbleft:


Someone should do a scientific study of that differential. Why is it that wives are so able to drag up crap from like a bazillion years ago at the exact moment that it will do her the most good in the argument department. I spend half my life trying to remember shit she has already dragged up and fail in that regard also. I don't know if my personal tendency to keep my big yap shut has been learned, trained, or indicative of some semblance of ...dare I say it?...wisdom? Perhaps that's what wisdom is, at least for us married men. :thumbleft:



For me, if I bring stuff that we talked about that happened many moons ago its because it was never solved in the first place. Ed always says that was then, this is now, but things do fester over time if they are not talked about and solved.


Not for men. :grin:



Men live in the moment, I think sometimes woman need to live in the moment as well. :reindeer:
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Offline HoustonMatt  
#36 Posted : Monday, December 15, 2008 4:01:26 AM(UTC)
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I would've just bought a size 4 and if she couldn't fit in it, serve her with divorce papers. (1/2 joking......truthfully, 1/4 joking)
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Offline Cheesey  
#37 Posted : Monday, December 15, 2008 8:13:13 PM(UTC)
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If i told my wife to "Shut the F up" I'd be dead.
Well....not dead, but it wouldn't work for me.
(I know.......tried it already)
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Offline Nonstopdrivel  
#38 Posted : Monday, December 15, 2008 9:14:21 PM(UTC)
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I guess my wife likes it rough. She grins as I type this.
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Offline 4PackGirl  
#39 Posted : Tuesday, December 16, 2008 1:23:40 AM(UTC)
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there's "rough" & there's rude - i like rough, not so much with the rudeness though.

as far as the saying you're sorry issue. i have the BEST line i've ever used against a man..."don't you get tired of saying you're sorry cuz i sure as hell get tired of hearing it!" my inner bitch came out with that one - i'm usually a very nice person. :D
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Offline IronMan  
#40 Posted : Tuesday, December 16, 2008 5:14:50 AM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: " Go to Quoted Post
i like rough,
:whipitgood: :whipitgood:
Offline Nonstopdrivel  
#41 Posted : Tuesday, December 16, 2008 7:35:53 AM(UTC)
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You can tell a woman to shut the fuck up in the most loving way possible. :D

Hey, whatever trips her, ahem, trigger.
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Offline 4PackGirl  
#42 Posted : Tuesday, December 16, 2008 10:21:50 AM(UTC)
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if (God forbid) your relationship starts to fall apart, rest assured that the entire STFU issue will come up & it WON'T be trippin the right trigger then!! ;)
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Offline Nonstopdrivel  
#43 Posted : Tuesday, December 16, 2008 11:08:49 AM(UTC)
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You're probably right, but our relationship has already been through hard times (and that's not including the two of our first three years we were separated by the Atlantic Ocean and endless miles of hot sand). What I discovered was that her attraction for me was slowly being sapped because I was too nice, too considerate, too polite, putting her desires too much before my own. Once I got more assertive, demanding, and yes, selfish, WOW! She's way more attracted to me now after five years of marriage than she was when we met, and that's saying a lot.
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Offline flep  
#44 Posted : Tuesday, December 16, 2008 6:17:31 PM(UTC)
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The dumbest thing I've done????

A couple of years ago my daughter was in the pub near to where we lived with her friend.

I got to 11PM and my wife asked me to ring her to ask when she'd be home.

I did, and she said she was having her last drink and would be home in about 15 minutes. So I told the wife.

Well I'd had a few gin and tonics by then so when she asked me 10 minutes later to ring her again to check she was coming home I said the immortal words......

"Get off your fat arse and ring her your fecking self!!"

Let me tell you Christmas morning was far less fun than a barrel of frogs!!!
Formed Merseyside Nighthawks. British Champions 1992. Packer fan for 30 years

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I feel very wrong now!!!!!!!!!
Offline dfosterf  
#45 Posted : Tuesday, December 16, 2008 6:54:00 PM(UTC)
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Here's a real brain teaser my wife sent me via a forwarded e-mail.

Personally, I think it lacks her usual subtlety.


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damn skippy I'm an owner. I currently own a full .00001924537805515393 % of the Green Bay Packers.



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