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Originally Posted by: "  I didn't come from a broken home, yet I couldn't agree with you more, Formo. For most of my life, I bought into my mother's bitching about my father, and grew up essentially hating my father's guts. It wasn't for quite a few years after I left home that I was able to get a more objective picture of the situation. Then I realized I had bought into a one-sided bucket of slop. Regardless of whether the parents are together or not, they should never bitch about each other in front of the children, and NEVER bitch to the children a bout each other. To do is so is so caustic to the children's psyche and to their relationship with their parents, the most precious connection they have.
I refuse to bitch about my wife in front of my kids. you know when I was married to her I tried to keep it together just for the kids but the constant fighting and abuse ( she used to hit me with things) )got so bad that I decided that the kids shouldn't have to be subjected to that...They should be in a home that isntlike what we were. I still to this day wonder if that was a mistake and it hurt them more mentally then what they would have witnessed.. Daughter was 6 and son was 3 at the time ileft.
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Rank: Hall of Famer
 Posts: 11,689 Joined: 9/14/2008(UTC) Location: Germany Applause Given: 364
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Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in necessarily "staying together for the kids" -- and I actually believe it's quite healthy for children to be able to see that their parents can disagree and fight yet still love each other and be able to live together. My wife's grandparents used to always go to a private room away from the kids when they needed to fight; I think that can send the wrong message: that conflict in a marriage is to be avoided at all costs.
What I'm talking about is something much different. I'm talking about overtly attacking and running down your spouse to your children. "Your father is such an asshole, he's good for nothing, he doesn't love me like he should, he never cares about what I want," etc. etc. etc., ad nauseum. I used to hear that shit from my mother every single day (and I still would had I not stood my ground and ordered her to shut up). THAT is what I think is so damaging -- giving your children a one-sided, negative view of their other parent. Let your child make up his own mind and keep your negative opinions to yourself. Let your child grow up to love his parents, because bitterness against parents is so damaging and can last a lifetime. I still struggle with it against my father, and I KNOW that most of the stuff I was fed was half-truths and outright lies.
I just realized that I'm essentially running my parents down behind their backs -- in a public venue no less -- which makes me no better than they. I'll shut up now. |
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Rank: Pro Bowl
Posts: 3,499
Joined: 11/30/2006(UTC)
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o yes...that happened..
In fact she would say things like, your so damn stupid...your lucky your married ot me, no other girl would want you cuz of how ugly you are
she was a winner
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Rank: Most Valuable Player
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Originally Posted by: " Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in necessarily "staying together for the kids" -- and I actually believe it's quite healthy for children to be able to see that their parents can disagree and fight yet still love each other and be able to live together. My wife's grandparents used to always go to a private room away from the kids when they needed to fight; I think that can send the wrong message: that conflict in a marriage is to be avoided at all costs.
What I'm talking about is something much different. I'm talking about overtly attacking and running down your spouse to your children. "Your father is such an asshole, he's good for nothing, he doesn't love me like he should, he never cares about what I want," etc. etc. etc., ad nauseum. I used to hear that shit from my mother every single day (and I still would had I not stood my ground and ordered her to shut up). THAT is what I think is so damaging -- giving your children a one-sided, negative view of their other parent. Let your child make up his own mind and keep your negative opinions to yourself. Let your child grow up to love his parents, because bitterness against parents is so damaging and can last a lifetime. I still struggle with it against my father, and I KNOW that most of the stuff I was fed was half-truths and outright lies.
I just realized that I'm essentially running my parents down behind their backs -- in a public venue no less -- which makes me no better than they. I'll shut up now. Nonstop.....don't feel that way. Your words here just might "wake up" someone to what they are doing, and make them stop damaging their children. You have shown in your own life situation what damage it can do to a child, and if even ONE person reads your comments and stops what they are doing, or thinking of doing, you have done a GREAT thing. I don't have any children......one of the things i regret the most. I think i would have made a GREAT Dad. And i was lucky.......my parents NEVER argued in front of us kids. But i have seen the damage that kids that were not as lucky as me have had to endure. |
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Rank: Pro Bowl
Posts: 3,499
Joined: 11/30/2006(UTC)
Applause Given: 1
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as I mentioned b4, one of my favorite bands is Northern Room..
They are local and great bunch of guys..
One of their songs was played on MTV the Hills last night.
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Rank: Most Valuable Player
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Joined: 8/7/2008(UTC)
Location: San Francisco
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Originally Posted by: "
your ex is an ungrateful lying bitch...oops did i say that out loud? :D
Agreed. That ***** pissed me off. Great read, Jim. I was a big fan of Eddie Lee Ivory, and he had a lot of potential but our OL at the time sucked. He and Dickey used to get banged around a lot more than they should have. So you actually saw the 52-3 NO game. Nice. Would have loved to have been there. That showed the world that despite being 1-3, we were a good football team. Then it was just one injury after another. Urgh. Such a painful year. Prime rib? Definitely one of my faves as well. |
My man Donald Driver  (thanks to Pack93z for the pic) 2010 will be seen as the beginning of the new Packers dynasty.    |
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Rank: Pro Bowl
Posts: 3,499
Joined: 11/30/2006(UTC)
Applause Given: 1
Applause Received: 21
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Originally Posted by: " Originally Posted by: "
your ex is an ungrateful lying bitch...oops did i say that out loud? :D
Agreed. That ***** pissed me off. Great read, Jim. I was a big fan of Eddie Lee Ivory, and he had a lot of potential but our OL at the time sucked. He and Dickey used to get banged around a lot more than they should have. So you actually saw the 52-3 NO game. Nice. Would have loved to have been there. That showed the world that despite being 1-3, we were a good football team. Then it was just one injury after another. Urgh. Such a painful year. Prime rib? Definitely one of my faves as well. Might be changing to any type of chicken dish!! I was at the spot where Al? intercepted and ran it back he jumped in my end zone for the NO game but I was in the bathroom at the time :(
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Rank: Most Valuable Player
Posts: 9,919
Joined: 8/7/2008(UTC)
Location: San Francisco
Applause Given: 778
Applause Received: 495
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Well, now you know, next time pee in a bottle. |
My man Donald Driver (thanks to Pack93z for the pic) 2010 will be seen as the beginning of the new Packers dynasty. |
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