thank you for sharing more about what's going on.
if you need anything...ANYTHING, let me know on facebook & i'll be there for you in whatever way i can.
love to all.

Had the dreaded 'passing the mantle' talk with Dad last night. I have always had nightmares of this talk, even before we found out he got cancer. He told me how he knows that I'm strong enough to be there for the family and he said, "You promise me that you take care of your baby sister (she's 17) and that you walk her down the isle." Of course, we all were in tears, the scare, tiny little boy replied with, "No, I don't want to.. I want YOU to do it." He told me he knows, but that I had to do it, that I was good and strong enough for it and how proud of me he was.

Was a very emotionally draining weekend. I don't know what else to do or say except to try to keep my mind and body busy with other aspects of life.

Formo.. while that probably may have been the toughest moment in your life to date.. I am sure you have made your father and family proud. That is the ultimate sign of trust in my book, to bestow the well being of loved ones upon your shoulders.

I am not sure I could have withstood the trials of the conversation, you my friend have.

Left work yesterday with texts and voicemails from my sisters to come up north, asap. Dad was incoherent and fighting all day. When we got to their home (2 hour drive) my baby sister meets us at the driveway, crying, and told me, "He's holding on for you." We go inside, and I can hear him moaning. Walk into the bed room with people all around him, and my mother and siblings were laying on the bed crying. I snuggled up to him and cried with the rest. My sisters were telling him that 'It's ok now Daddy, Jeremy's here.. You can go now.. We are all here."

Not long after, he starting waking up and becoming coherent. Wasn't able to speak much at all, but then we all got our time alone with him. The most he moved all day was when my wife told him that she loved him, how he was just as much a daddy as her father was, and how he didn't need to worry that she'd take care of me. He suddenly moaned loudly, somehow rolled to the side of the bed where she was, reached up, grabbed her close for a hug. She bawled and I just stayed in my prone position on the bed next to him. I crawled up to his head so he could see me and promised to take care of his baby girls and he said "Thank". My aunt, who's a registered hospice nurse, told him how he had the best 6 kids a man could have, and I got to see his eyes light up, he nodded his head with approval and said, 'YEAH!'.

The hardest part, though.. Was seeing him like that. I expected him to lay peacefully, sleeping. Not moaning, eyes glazed over, and having very little motor skills. At one point, I was crying, but very angry and threw my hat and glasses out of the room. I had to calm myself down to keep composure for my sisters.. but I wanted nothing more than to rip a door out of the frame.

Right now, he's sleeping peacefully. Haven't been in the room much since last night.. I don't want to leave him, but I don't want to see him like that. I already miss him.

Jeremy I have no words to express the heartbreak I feel for you and your family at this time.

We get so caught up in the world and the distractions that we forget about the important things in life until to wakes us up and slaps us square.

Prayers are with you my brother.. if there is anything I can do, yell.

I'm very sorry to read what you're going through. It sounds as if you're a close family. I hope everything goes peaceful.

Edited by member Tuesday, September 25, 2012 9:45:46 PM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

My family will be praying for your dad to be painless and peaceful, Jeremy. I am so sorry.

Very sorry for your loss. I know it was difficult being there watching, but from someone who wasn't able to for their parent, its better to have been able to say that final goodbye. Again, very sorry to hear this.