Green Bay Packers Forum

Welcome to your Green Bay Packers Online Community!

Since 2006, PackersHome has been providing a unique experience for fans.
Your participation is greatly anticipated!
Login or Register.
Options
Go to last post Go to first unread
Offline wils0646  
#1 Posted : Thursday, August 20, 2009 1:19:27 PM(UTC)
wils0646

Rank: Registered
Joined: 12/15/2006(UTC)
Applause Given: 1
Applause Received: 4
http://www.startribune.c...Yyc:aULPQL7PQLanchO7DiUr

Quote:
It's Monday afternoon in Hattiesburg, Miss. A phone rings by what the Favre family likes to call the "cement pond." A manservant wearing a tuxedo T-shirt forwards the call to Brett Favre's gold-plated tractor phone.

Favre hears a gravelly voice say:

"Mr. Favre? May I call you Mr. Favre? It's Brad. Bald guy, trying to grow a beard just like yours? Mr. Favre, I've been calling you every day for two years, you should remember me by now. Yeah, it's 'Chili.' My first name is Brad.

"Anyway, Mr. Favre, I think our two-year plan has worked perfectly. Now it's time to make our move.

"We found a way for you to avoid going to training camp and sleeping in those cramped dorm rooms and practicing twice a day in that brutal Mankato heat. I know, living in Mississippi, you wouldn't be able to withstand that heat. And I know, after you built your own Presidential Suite near the Jets' locker room last year, that you didn't want to be put in a situation where you might have to meet your teammates.

"Now training camp is done, and you can finally move into that house you bought up here. Brilliant idea, buying Prince's place in Chanhassen. Who's going to notice another reclusive celebrity wearing purple in that neighborhood? Mr. Favre, I also liked your smoke screen, sending relatives up here to buy houses and condos all over town, just to throw people off. Brilliant. I could learn a lot from you. When I want to confuse somebody, I just talk in circles until their eyes glaze over.

"Yes, Mr. Favre, I know you're busy mowing the back 40, and I know the 'My Name is Earl' marathon is about to begin. I'll get to the point. It's time to bring you in. Anybody who didn't like the idea of signing you has had a few weeks to watch Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels. They have to be on board with this now. All we have to do is concoct the right story, so it won't look like we've been planning for this day ever since you left the Packers, even though we've been planning for this day ever since you left the Packers.

"Thank goodness you were such a pain in the butt in New York that the Jets traded up to get Mark Sanchez and then cut you loose. You played that just right.

"I also like your idea about having arm surgery so you wouldn't have to come to training camp. Wait, you're going to tell them what? That you still have a tear in your rotator cuff? Isn't that going overboard? OK, OK, you're the boss. Man, sounds like you want to win an Oscar as much as you want to win a Super Bowl.

"So we'll send Zygi Wilf's plane for you in the morning. Z-y-g-i. The one who looks like Groucho Marx. Yeah, that's the owner. No, don't worry, you won't have to talk to him, either. We'll just make him stand in the back at the press conference.

"We'll fly you up here in the morning, conduct our 'physical' -- don't worry, we have a stunt double they can examine if you're not up for it -- and then we'll hand you the blank check and get you on the practice field.

"Yes, the practice field. Please? Pretty please? Listen, I'm going to have a hard enough time with my veterans after letting you skip training camp. You've got to go out there and throw a few passes, just so I can pretend I'm still calling the shots. Thank you, Mr. Favre, I appreciate it.

"Listen, Mr. Favre, you're going to have to be sensitive to my predicament. I always tell the players that training camp is important, that details are important, that learning the playbook is important, that cohesiveness and protecting the ball and making smart decisions are all important. You're going to have to at least to pretend to care about all that, even if we both know you're going to be drawing up your own plays in the huddle and throwing into triple coverage whenever you darn well please.

"Also, we're going to have to do one of those awkward press conference things Tuesday. I'll get up there and act like you're just another guy -- I know, I'll call you a "piece of the puzzle." You should dress down -- maybe wear what you wear when you're throwing to those high school kids in Mississippi. That's right, the sweaty golf cap and cargo shorts. That way fans will think you're just like them, even though they can't make their mortgage payments and you could buy Kuwait.

"We'd like you to say that this isn't about getting revenge on the Packers -- I know, Mr. Favre, but sometimes in this job we have to twist the truth until it looks like a salted pretzel. We would like you to mention your family. Maybe say that your daughter really wanted you to come back and win another Super Bowl. If you can throw in some tears -- yours, hers, whatever -- that would give the TV people a sound bite they'll play forever.

"And remember the story we agreed on two years ago: You really couldn't decide whether you wanted to play or not, and you kept working out and throwing at Oak Grove High because you just love working with kids. The TV people will eat that up, too.

"So remember your checklist: Sweaty ball cap, cargo shorts, beard, daughter, my first name is Brad, not about revenge, you're a team player. Most important, remember, I just called you the other day to see if I could change your mind, and you just so happened to be waiting by the tractor phone, ready to roll.

"I know, I know, it's really far-fetched, but you have to understand Minnesota. These people will believe just about anything. I mean, when I was hired, these fans thought I was a passing guru.

"You don't have to laugh that hard.

"Oh, and one more thing, Mr. Favre. Please, please, please, during the press conference, don't call me 'Chili.' People might get the wrong impression."
Sponsor
Offline RedSoxExcel  
#2 Posted : Friday, August 21, 2009 11:46:51 AM(UTC)
RedSoxExcel

Rank: Registered
Joined: 9/30/2007(UTC)
Applause Received: 3
Someone took the time to write this? Seriously?
Rss Feed 
Users browsing this topic
Guest
Forum Jump  
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Notification

Icon
Error


Fan Shout
Zero2Cool (13h) : woohoo
gbguy20 (5-May) : i think its fixed now :)
Zero2Cool (5-May) : lol
gbguy20 (4-May) : century link is a bunch of idiots
gbguy20 (4-May) : definitely my end.
gbguy20 (4-May) : *to get my last post to go thru
gbguy20 (4-May) : Is the problem with this site on my end or your end? Everytime I try to post the "Connection resets" it took me 20 minutes to get my lost t
Zero2Cool (4-May) : Nice, thanks!
gbguy20 (4-May) : no i've seen it the right way all along. I just wanted to let you know it looks good.
Zero2Cool (4-May) : thanks btw
Zero2Cool (4-May) : Did you just try it on larger resolution now? Hit CTRL F5, tweaked something earlier lol
gbguy20 (4-May) : the site looks fantastic on a larger resolution. zero, you have done a fantastic job with this site.
Zero2Cool (4-May) : Probably 1024x768 which is fine, I was just curious.
Zero2Cool (4-May) : Oh, so you only see one column, instead of three? You have your screen set to small resolution.
texaspackerbacker (3-May) : too answer your question, long overdue, Z2C, it comes in at the bottom of posts next to "Recent Topics" and just above the 2015 schedule and
Zero2Cool (3-May) : No reason to single someone out like that. And every one is loooooooooose
greengold (3-May) : How to respond to a thread titled "Packers doomed to loose."? It's uffda without spelling or punctuation.
Zero2Cool (3-May) : It's up to coaches to make rookies into something.
beast (3-May) : I think I remember fans giving an F for Rodgers draft as well
Smokey (3-May) : TT's Draft rates F-
beast (2-May) : And the race to sign UDFA is officially on!
Zero2Cool (2-May) : Finally, folks are USING the REPORT feature. THANK YOU. Makes it soo much easier and more efficient.
Smokey (2-May) : Through 3 rounds, GB=F- draft grade
Smokey (2-May) : Z2C, you live in GB, please punch TT in the nose for me. Please !
Smokey (2-May) : AHHHHH !!
Mucky Tundra (1-May) : tbh i'd be more concerning about his weight than him blazing up
Zero2Cool (1-May) : More than just the weed/weight. Off some boards. Problematic to pick.
Zero2Cool (1-May) : andy Gregory's issues: http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000488780/article/concern-exists-on-gregory-handling-pro-footballs-mental-rigors
dhazer (1-May) : so what tweener will we draft tonight?
Cheesey (1-May) : Happy B-day Sincity!
Zero2Cool (1-May) : Denzel Perryman falling to Packers at #62 = goodpoop
uffda udfa (1-May) : Dawson's Creek and his 4.9 40 is coming to GB in R2
uffda udfa (1-May) : DL and LB are WEAK but do you want TT trying to fix it?
Smokey (1-May) : Round 2, let us hope for better !
Smokey (30-Apr) : Yes ! The Chat Room is very OPEN !!
Please sign in to use Fan Shout

2015 Schedule
Sunday, Sep 13 @ 12:00 PM
at Bears
Sunday, Sep 20 @ 7:30 PM
SEAHAWKS
Monday, Sep 28 @ 7:30 PM
CHIEFS
Sunday, Oct 4 @ 3:25 PM
at 49ers
Sunday, Oct 11 @ 12:00 PM
RAMS
Sunday, Oct 18 @ 3:25 PM
CHARGERS
Sunday, Oct 25 @ 12:00 AM
- BYE -
Sunday, Nov 1 @ 7:30 PM
at Broncos
Sunday, Nov 8 @ 12:00 PM
at Panthers
Sunday, Nov 15 @ 12:00 PM
LIONS
Sunday, Nov 22 @ 12:00 PM
at Vikings
Thursday, Nov 26 @ 7:30 PM
BEARS
Thursday, Dec 3 @ 7:25 PM
at Lions
Sunday, Dec 13 @ 3:25 PM
COWBOYS
Sunday, Dec 20 @ 3:05 PM
at Raiders
Sunday, Dec 27 @ 3:25 PM
at Cardinals
Sunday, Jan 3 @ 12:00 PM
VIKINGS

Recent Topics
1h / Green Bay Packers Talk / DarkaneRules

3h / Green Bay Packers Talk / mi_keys

5h / Green Bay Packers Talk / Wade

6h / Green Bay Packers Talk / PackerTraxx

9h / Green Bay Packers Talk / greengold

11h / Green Bay Packers Talk / buckeyepackfan

11h / Green Bay Packers Talk / beast

5-May / Green Bay Packers Talk / DoddPower

5-May / Green Bay Packers Talk / greengold

5-May / Green Bay Packers Talk / Wade

5-May / Green Bay Packers Talk / Wade

5-May / Green Bay Packers Talk / DoddPower

5-May / Green Bay Packers Talk / beast

4-May / Green Bay Packers Talk / Gilligan

4-May / Green Bay Packers Talk / nerdmann


Tweeter