Discussion Board
Welcome Guest! You can login or register. Login or Register.

Options
Go to last post Go to first unread
wils0646  
#1 Posted : Thursday, August 20, 2009 1:19:27 PM(UTC)
http://www.startribune.c...Yyc:aULPQL7PQLanchO7DiUr

Quote:
It's Monday afternoon in Hattiesburg, Miss. A phone rings by what the Favre family likes to call the "cement pond." A manservant wearing a tuxedo T-shirt forwards the call to Brett Favre's gold-plated tractor phone.

Favre hears a gravelly voice say:

"Mr. Favre? May I call you Mr. Favre? It's Brad. Bald guy, trying to grow a beard just like yours? Mr. Favre, I've been calling you every day for two years, you should remember me by now. Yeah, it's 'Chili.' My first name is Brad.

"Anyway, Mr. Favre, I think our two-year plan has worked perfectly. Now it's time to make our move.

"We found a way for you to avoid going to training camp and sleeping in those cramped dorm rooms and practicing twice a day in that brutal Mankato heat. I know, living in Mississippi, you wouldn't be able to withstand that heat. And I know, after you built your own Presidential Suite near the Jets' locker room last year, that you didn't want to be put in a situation where you might have to meet your teammates.

"Now training camp is done, and you can finally move into that house you bought up here. Brilliant idea, buying Prince's place in Chanhassen. Who's going to notice another reclusive celebrity wearing purple in that neighborhood? Mr. Favre, I also liked your smoke screen, sending relatives up here to buy houses and condos all over town, just to throw people off. Brilliant. I could learn a lot from you. When I want to confuse somebody, I just talk in circles until their eyes glaze over.

"Yes, Mr. Favre, I know you're busy mowing the back 40, and I know the 'My Name is Earl' marathon is about to begin. I'll get to the point. It's time to bring you in. Anybody who didn't like the idea of signing you has had a few weeks to watch Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels. They have to be on board with this now. All we have to do is concoct the right story, so it won't look like we've been planning for this day ever since you left the Packers, even though we've been planning for this day ever since you left the Packers.

"Thank goodness you were such a pain in the butt in New York that the Jets traded up to get Mark Sanchez and then cut you loose. You played that just right.

"I also like your idea about having arm surgery so you wouldn't have to come to training camp. Wait, you're going to tell them what? That you still have a tear in your rotator cuff? Isn't that going overboard? OK, OK, you're the boss. Man, sounds like you want to win an Oscar as much as you want to win a Super Bowl.

"So we'll send Zygi Wilf's plane for you in the morning. Z-y-g-i. The one who looks like Groucho Marx. Yeah, that's the owner. No, don't worry, you won't have to talk to him, either. We'll just make him stand in the back at the press conference.

"We'll fly you up here in the morning, conduct our 'physical' -- don't worry, we have a stunt double they can examine if you're not up for it -- and then we'll hand you the blank check and get you on the practice field.

"Yes, the practice field. Please? Pretty please? Listen, I'm going to have a hard enough time with my veterans after letting you skip training camp. You've got to go out there and throw a few passes, just so I can pretend I'm still calling the shots. Thank you, Mr. Favre, I appreciate it.

"Listen, Mr. Favre, you're going to have to be sensitive to my predicament. I always tell the players that training camp is important, that details are important, that learning the playbook is important, that cohesiveness and protecting the ball and making smart decisions are all important. You're going to have to at least to pretend to care about all that, even if we both know you're going to be drawing up your own plays in the huddle and throwing into triple coverage whenever you darn well please.

"Also, we're going to have to do one of those awkward press conference things Tuesday. I'll get up there and act like you're just another guy -- I know, I'll call you a "piece of the puzzle." You should dress down -- maybe wear what you wear when you're throwing to those high school kids in Mississippi. That's right, the sweaty golf cap and cargo shorts. That way fans will think you're just like them, even though they can't make their mortgage payments and you could buy Kuwait.

"We'd like you to say that this isn't about getting revenge on the Packers -- I know, Mr. Favre, but sometimes in this job we have to twist the truth until it looks like a salted pretzel. We would like you to mention your family. Maybe say that your daughter really wanted you to come back and win another Super Bowl. If you can throw in some tears -- yours, hers, whatever -- that would give the TV people a sound bite they'll play forever.

"And remember the story we agreed on two years ago: You really couldn't decide whether you wanted to play or not, and you kept working out and throwing at Oak Grove High because you just love working with kids. The TV people will eat that up, too.

"So remember your checklist: Sweaty ball cap, cargo shorts, beard, daughter, my first name is Brad, not about revenge, you're a team player. Most important, remember, I just called you the other day to see if I could change your mind, and you just so happened to be waiting by the tractor phone, ready to roll.

"I know, I know, it's really far-fetched, but you have to understand Minnesota. These people will believe just about anything. I mean, when I was hired, these fans thought I was a passing guru.

"You don't have to laugh that hard.

"Oh, and one more thing, Mr. Favre. Please, please, please, during the press conference, don't call me 'Chili.' People might get the wrong impression."
RedSoxExcel  
#2 Posted : Friday, August 21, 2009 11:46:51 AM(UTC)
Someone took the time to write this? Seriously?
Rss Feed
Users browsing this topic
Guest
Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Notification

Icon
Error

Fan Shout
uffda udfa (1h) : No more clutter.
Cheesey (2h) : Go get him Uncle Ted!!
Zero2Cool (2h) : Former Packers pass-rusher Datone Jones is back on the market.
Zero2Cool (5h) : Good news for #Packers secondary: rookie CB Kevin King and vet CB Davon House (quad) both practiced. King has cleared concussion protocol.
Zero2Cool (5h) : Vince Biegel back on practice field!!
Zero2Cool (11h) : Maybe this little shout has no value if people gonna use it instead of the forum.
Zero2Cool (11h) : He's not writing. He's shouting, and its making the shout kind of without point with the clutter.
buckeyepackfan (16h) : Just like last year at 4-6. The guy is just too funny!
buckeyepackfan (16h) : GOOD news Uffda is already all but writing The Packers off for 2017!
uffda udfa (21h) : Masturbation talk from Barfan? Nothing could make me COME back, quicker.
wpr (22h) : Maybe the shout box needs to take a timeout. People keep using it. ;)
Zero2Cool (22h) : Why do this is in shout? So frustrating. Post in forums. Thanks
Barfarn (22h) : Masterbation will relieve some of that nervous tension!
uffda udfa (17-Oct) : Now, a guy they really liked and have groomed for 3 years is the guy. Tons of toys on O. Let's see how it runs with a great coach, now.
uffda udfa (17-Oct) : The Flynn Patriots game has been used to say that he is. Seneca and Scott showed otherwise.
uffda udfa (17-Oct) : Hundley is going to settle the debate once and for all in whether Mike McCarthy is a great coach, or not.
uffda udfa (17-Oct) : Doesn't speak well to the talent acquired by the org, does it? Easy to say talent is great until Rodgers is gone and you have to see it wit
Porforis (17-Oct) : Could Sam Bradford come into the Packers and post a winning record from here on out? Are there any non-starters in the NFL that could?
Zero2Cool (17-Oct) : Teddy is replaceable. Aaron is not. Vikings have a really good defense. We do not. Understand??
Zero2Cool (17-Oct) : You are wise enough to know the difference. Right?
uffda udfa (17-Oct) : Here's one for you, Z. Vikes lose Teddy B. and go out and aggressively get Bradford. Packers lose 12 and go out and get a UDFA.
uffda udfa (17-Oct) : :) Evans had a pre-draft visit with Packers.
Zero2Cool (17-Oct) : Put it in a topic. My lord why so difficult lol
uffda udfa (17-Oct) : http://www.nfl.com/draft/2017/profiles/jerod-evans?id=2558099
uffda udfa (17-Oct) : http://www.foxsports.com/nfl/story/former-virginia-tech-qb-jerod-evans-issues-warning-after-going-undrafted-043017
uffda udfa (17-Oct) : Oh, Jerod Evans formerly of Va Tech is our Hokie QB plan
uffda udfa (17-Oct) : Was previously on Eagles PS
uffda udfa (17-Oct) : Tweeted the below due to huge chip on his shoulder for going undrafted after leaving early.
uffda udfa (17-Oct) : Packers add Jerod Evans to PS. He went undrafted: https://twitter.com/rodfor6_/status/858382534274682884
Smokey (17-Oct) : NO a 6 point favorite to beat the Packers in GB .
Zero2Cool (17-Oct) : Yes!!!!!
Porforis (17-Oct) : "I said that too. Why don't you quote me?? I'm famous!" - Zero2Cool
Zero2Cool (16-Oct) : I said that too. Why don't you quote me?? I'm famous!
uffda udfa (16-Oct) : @ProFootballDoc says Rodgers could return Week 14 at earliest, and surgery speeds up return timeline.
Zero2Cool (16-Oct) : McCarthy dropped a "bullshit" on packers.com stream. No delay apparently lol
Please sign in to use Fan Shout
2017 Packers Schedule
Sunday, Sep 10 @ 3:25 PM
SEAHAWKS
Sunday, Sep 17 @ 7:30 PM
at Falcons
Sunday, Sep 24 @ 3:25 PM
BENGALS
Thursday, Sep 28 @ 7:25 PM
BEARS
Sunday, Oct 8 @ 3:25 PM
at Cowboys
Sunday, Oct 15 @ 12:00 PM
at Vikings
Sunday, Oct 22 @ 12:00 PM
SAINTS
Sunday, Oct 29 @ 12:00 AM
- BYE -
Monday, Nov 6 @ 7:30 PM
LIONS
Sunday, Nov 12 @ 12:00 PM
at Bears
Sunday, Nov 19 @ 12:00 PM
RAVENS
Sunday, Nov 26 @ 7:30 PM
at Steelers
Sunday, Dec 3 @ 12:00 PM
BUCCANEERS
Sunday, Dec 10 @ 12:00 PM
at Browns
Sunday, Dec 17 @ 12:00 PM
at Panthers
Saturday, Dec 23 @ 7:30 PM
VIKINGS
Sunday, Dec 31 @ 12:00 PM
at Lions
Think About It
Think About It
Recent Topics
14m / Green Bay Packers Talk / isocleas2

23m / Green Bay Packers Talk / steveishere

2h / Green Bay Packers Talk / Cheesey

2h / Green Bay Packers Talk / Cheesey

2h / Green Bay Packers Talk / wpr

17-Oct / Around The NFL / Zero2Cool

17-Oct / Green Bay Packers Talk / gotarace

17-Oct / Green Bay Packers Talk / nerdmann

17-Oct / Green Bay Packers Talk / musccy

17-Oct / Green Bay Packers Talk / nerdmann

17-Oct / Green Bay Packers Talk / nerdmann

17-Oct / Green Bay Packers Talk / PackFanWithTwins

17-Oct / Green Bay Packers Talk / Porforis

17-Oct / Green Bay Packers Talk / nerdmann

16-Oct / Green Bay Packers Talk / DoddPower

Headlines