The Onion's Guide to Superbowl XLV

Since69
Registered Topic Starter

13 years ago

OSN's Superbowl Preview

13 slides - definitely written by a Packers fan, methinks. Hysterical!

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Packers_Finland
Registered

13 years ago

Pretty damn funny. Especially liked the Aaron Rodgers bit.

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peteralan71
Registered

13 years ago

Holy shit. That is great!

In the Clay Matthews section: thick shag carpet matches the long drapes. Hmmmmm hahaha

Makes up for it with this: SIGNATURE MOVE: Uses 8,000-rpm spin to drill deep into the field and burst out from the ground beneath the unsuspecting quarterback. LOL!

Green Bay: Home of the Green & Gold. And the hunter orange. And the camouflage.

Packers_Finland
Registered

13 years ago

I thought the jab at Matthews was at "has difficulty wrapping up christmas gifts"

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Cheesey
Preferred Member

13 years ago

The funniest thing to me?
It was the fact that they didn't have any "real life" negative things to pick on with any of the Packers. Unlike "Pig Ben" (as i call him)

Kingkoopa
Registered

13 years ago

I loved the "Woodson must get to president to warn him, but can't through diplomacy". LOL, good stuff, thanks for posting.

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mi_keys
Senior Member

13 years ago

Rodgers: "Can make all the throws, but struggles with the incomplete pass"

Lol

Born and bred a cheesehead

porky88
Veteran Member

13 years ago

The Steelers part and the Packers Fans part made me laugh the hardest.

http://www.row12.com/

Greg C.
Registered

13 years ago

I like this one about Packer fans, as one of their weaknesses: "pretty much takes a tiny little Packers jersey to get them to love their kids."

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Dulak
Veteran Member

13 years ago

#10

Best player in league at smiling after the catch

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jdlax (2h) : Sunday Night fucking Football

jdlax (2h) : I just got my tickets to represent in Seattle December 15th woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Martha Careful (14h) : I really enjoyed game 1 of the Stanley Cup final. Sergei Bobrovsky G - FL was incredibly good.

Mucky Tundra (4-Jun) : *NFL

Mucky Tundra (4-Jun) : @ByRyanWood Pads or no pads, welcome to the N

Mucky Tundra (4-Jun) : @ByRyanWood Rashan Gary just steamrolled Jordan Morgan on a bull rush. Drove right over him to the ground.

Mucky Tundra (3-Jun) : God and a lot of money brought Reggie to GB

Mucky Tundra (3-Jun) : yep. became the highest paid defensive player in the league and 3rd highest behind Elway and Marino

Zero2Cool (3-Jun) : Packers signed second-round pick Javon Bullard

Zero2Cool (3-Jun) : Reggie White got something like 4 years $17m total right?

buckeyepackfan (3-Jun) : 110mil guaranteed!!!

Zero2Cool (3-Jun) : Justin Jefferson. 4/$140m ??? wow

Mucky Tundra (31-May) : @AndyHermanNFL Sean Rhyan getting some reps at center in walkthroughs. They are rotating guys everywhere.

Mucky Tundra (31-May) : or that might have been an individual drill thing

Mucky Tundra (31-May) : that was from the 29th but I've seen other combs (including Rhyan@C)

Mucky Tundra (31-May) : @ByRyanWood Without Elgton Jenkins and Zach Tom, #Packers starting OL: Rasheed Walker, Jordan Morgan, Josh Myers, Sean Rhyan, Andre Dillard.

Martha Careful (31-May) : I have never seen an OTA, but who is lining up at LT and RG with starters? or is it all individual drills?

Zero2Cool (30-May) : Bears are the first team to be selected for Hard Knocks

dfosterf (29-May) : Andy Herman and his Pack a day podcast put up GB strengths yesterday. This morning he did weaknesses. They are both very good.

Zero2Cool (25-May) : Yes.

beast (24-May) : Does he say what it is?

Zero2Cool (22-May) : Christian Watson believes he has discovered the root cause his soft-tissue leg injuries

Zero2Cool (22-May) : Savage played last half of season with tear in rotator cuff

Zero2Cool (22-May) : SISSIES!!!!

Mucky Tundra (22-May) : Sounds like both Kraft and Tom were injuried before OTAs began

buckeyepackfan (22-May) : Not serious but waiting for strength and conditioning coach referwnces.

buckeyepackfan (22-May) : Tom and Kraft both injured(pectoral muscle),

Zero2Cool (20-May) : I feel similar about person and product/service.

beast (17-May) : Not sure why a players views reflect on GB... instead of simply on the player

Martha Careful (17-May) : I bet some of us have had 6+ mRNA jabs, a UKR flag on our walls, and still think Fauci has a thread of integrity

Zero2Cool (16-May) : From what I've read, it's all Jets , not us.

CanPackFan (16-May) : Will there ever be a time when Rodgers' whacko views will not reflect on GB? He is the past, thank god.

Zero2Cool (16-May) : Jan 4th gonna be rough with that start time lol

Zero2Cool (16-May) : Packers schedule listed. Boom.

buckeyepackfan (15-May) : Let the leaks begin. Colts @ Packers week 2, Vikings @ Packers week 4

Zero2Cool (14-May) : WR Marquez Valdes-Scantling to Bills

Zero2Cool (14-May) : Jets and Aaron Rodgers open up on Monday Night Football,

Zero2Cool (13-May) : $170 guaranteed. This might impact Jordan Love

Zero2Cool (13-May) : Lions are signing QB Jared Goff to a four-year, $212 million extension

Zero2Cool (13-May) : I know we moved on. That tidbit just makes me a touch happier.

Zero2Cool (13-May) : Sources spoke of many, many times last summer where Hackett called a play, then Rodgers changed it completely at the line

Martha Careful (10-May) : 1. this is true of all our linemen. 2. His run block is fine. 3. If all OL played like he has, we would win SB.

beast (10-May) : Meyers pass blocking is really good, his run blocking is really not.

Zero2Cool (9-May) : Packers have claimed DE Spencer Waege off of waivers from the 49ers and waived DT Rodney Mathews.

Zero2Cool (9-May) : And the OL protections seem to be good.

Zero2Cool (9-May) : I really don't know lol. I don't see him getting blown up.

Zero2Cool (9-May) : -3 buwahhhahaaha

Mucky Tundra (9-May) : 4th

Zero2Cool (9-May) : because he's 1st

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