Porforis - I bought my own modem to avoid the modem fee every month. 🙂

Jim - I'm not expecting a credit for it, but I don't know why they told me I'd get one, if they won't give me one. Going by the statute, the cost of adding Rebecca to my insurance costs more than 5% of my income, thus, I should be credited. That's something else I pointed out to them too.









I sent a lengthy detailed email to my case worker explaining the salary error and also proposed a fair child support plan that included me contributing a percentage of any work bonus I get to a college fund for Rebecca. My case worker read the email this morning and has not yet responded or called. Not sure if that's a good sign or not.

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you definitely can be nice & still be a force to be reckoned with. i'd love to be able to talk to my ex about things that are worrying me & know that he'll think it through & come up with a solution with me BUT i've been down that road so many times that i know it won't do a damn bit of good. when we were going to court over visitation times/vacation times/etc... i was a complete basketcase. i've never been in trouble in my life so just walking into a damn courthouse freaked me the hell out. i was a nervous wreck the day i had to go for my uncontested divorce & my ex wasn't even there! i guess i'm 'old school' when it comes to police & judges - they scare the heck outta me.

when i tried to explain to the judge that my ex was driving my kids on a suspended license, he didn't care.
that's right...he didn't care!!
at that moment, my eyes to our court system were opened & i soon understood that being a good person, doing the right things, & trying to be the best parent meant NOTHING to the judge. everything i didn't want to happen...happened!
judge granted him a reduction in child support, gave him every bit of visitation he wanted (even though he missed visitations MANY times prior), & took the boys from me every other christmas morning. i was crushed - mentally & spritually. i was a wreck!! my new husband wanted to keep fighting for the medical bills (i'm the one who provides the insurance for them & he STILL pays me nothing) but it hurt my soul to the core.

i took a deep breath, decided to be the best mom i can be to the boys, realized that if i was going to have a decent life i'd have to let go of the idea of the 'perfect' life, & moved on.

i'm not saying you should give up the fight - take it as far as you can, kevin. fight the good fight. and in the end, whatever happens, you'll know that you did everything you could to make life better for your girls.

No one is blaming you for the state's/gubment's faults. Hell, no one is blaming you for sticking a girl you thought you loved.

Fact of the matter is, whether you like it or not, you still have to take responsibilities for your actions. And in this situation, NO ONE is denying that you aren't doing as such. Just remember that you can only control your actions and attitude.

No one, not me or anyone else here, is saying it's your fault that you are in this situation.

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I got the court papers today ... got me bent out of shape really bad but like you said ... i started telling myself ... nothing i can do about it ... can't control it, don't get bent about it.


also found out my student loan payments went up $50 bucks too.


guess thats life, no matter how hard you try, can't get ahead.

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Shawano County is useless. They refuse to enforce their own court order, yet, today they claim they are doing me a favor by barely keeping my child support payments for one child just under $700.

Sure am wishing I kept my ding ding out of that hooha.


I don't think I can handle ten more years of this. It's so deflating and discouraging. Keiana and I will barely make it, thanks to me cancelling my 401k today. The worst part is Keiana and I still have no contact with Rebecca because the court won't enforce the court order. Rest assured, if I miss a child support payment, I'll be in jail.

I just don't see the point in anything anymore. This has effectively killed my will to try for anything.

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I'm obviously speaking with no evidence except your post but it sounds like Rebecca's mom is a real bitch. Does her bitchdom transfer to her parenting skills? How good of a parent are you? The reason I ask is I wonder if you could maybe get a private investigator. Try and prove to the courts, through evidence, that Rebecca's mother is unfit to be a parent. Cite the fact that she lives off of child support. How long has she been employed? What conditions is Rebecca living in? Is there anyway you could prove that Rebecca is not getting your letters?

It sounds to me that this entire time you have been on the defensive. I know nothing of situations like this but there must be some way to take the offensive in this case. Is there any organization that tries to help fathers connect with their children? I don't know the time you've put in this so I'm sorry if you really are at a dead end. I wish to be helpful and not more frustrating but I have no experience in situations like this.

Good luck and keep pushing. She won't be a child her whole life and once she's 18 she'll be able to make her own decisions. Stay strong.

Rebecca's mom can at times be a really sweet woman, however, its when she needs/wants something. It's always selfishly motivated. And I'm weak, I feel everyone has good in them and when it comes to my daughters, I fail to understand how cold some can be to screw me over.

Rebecca's mom has been unemployed for years now, at least 2 that I know for sure, possible more. I've been told by many that I'm a very good parent, a few female friends ask me for parenting advice. Being a good parent is really easy. The problem I see most parents making is they worry about being the child's friend more than their parent.

I've spent quite a bit of time and money into this, but if the courts won't act on enforcing their court orders, I really can't do much more. Rebecca's mother is smart, she doesn't smoke weed in front of her. They go out to eat at Taco Bell and McDonalds quite a bit, but theres no way I can really prove it.

Thanks for the words. I just don't know what much else I can do. I'm going to just keep paying child support, sending presents and letters and hope ... hope the mother grows a conscience, but she hasn't had one regarding the best interests of my daughter in most of the past 8 years.

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lawyerfordad.com is a link I keep hearing on the radio. Apparently they specialize in helping fathers get more rights in the courts. I think of you every time I hear their commercial but always forget bringing it up. I just punched in that url, and it leads to Huson Law Firm's website. Looks like they are Minnesota based.

Try looking for something like that in your area, maybe? Sorry I can't be any more help.

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I'd second what Formo said.

When the law is an ass, often the only solution (beyond enduring the damn thing until majority, argh) lies in finding a way to bring a major asshole lawyer to be your advocate.

Unfortunately, I no longer know any asshole lawyers to recommend.

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Yep, I'm convinced now that after proving with facts and supporting proof that they were wrong and they still fail to acknowledge it, the only course of action is to save up for an attorney. I hate feeling like I'm being screwed, but each time I try an put faith in the system, it feels my daughters and I get short handed.

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